Thank You, Mom

With Mother's Day approaching, I thought it only appropriate to honor my own mother in this entry.  Let me start by saying, she's not perfect, but what mom ever was?  Eve probably had the best shot at it, living in a perfect world and all, and we know how far she got.  So when it comes to moms, mine isn't perfect but I really feel like God poured an extra blessing on me by the one I got.

Moms aren't perfect.  And neither are dads.  I believe that is what is at the heart of the commandment to honor your father and your mother.  The truth is when you are 16, your brain tricks you into thinking it is far superior than the one your parents were given.  And though you may on occasion be "right" in a particular argument, as a Christian we are called to honor our parents' wisdom over our own.  God knew more than any teenager that parents were not always going to be right.  He also knew that an important lesson for every man and woman is humility.  To humble yourself at the age of 16 is no easy task.  Or perhaps it was only a large struggle for me because I was rarely successful.  Looking back on many of the topics that made me scoff in my youth, I realize now what lessons I have carried with me into my own parenting.

It's a long time coming, but... Thanks Mom!

Thank you, Mom, for choosing a good husband.  I believe that is the start of a good mother; knowing with whom she is going to forge the future of her children.  My dad is not perfect either, but he is a really good husband and father.  This foundation that was laid for seven lucky children is becoming more and more a rarity.

Thank you, Mom, for valuing family.  Because my mom (and dad) raised seven children, I have six people that capture my love and adoration continually and the number continues to grow as they marry and have children.  The gift of a large family taught me that the world doesn't revolve around me and my needs, but I am a part of a world that revolves around love.

Thank you, Mom, for not taking shortcuts.  When your peers were heading down the road of convenience with disposable diapers, dishwashers, and canned goods, you were sweating over hand-washing dishes three times a day for 9 people, scrubbing cloth diapers and socks and tshirts, and canning and freezing the goodness of summer.  Though when I was young I thought store-bought cookies were a treat over your home baked ones, it was only because they were such a rarity.  My taste buds still confirm that there is nothing like homemade.  You taught me what accomplishment feels like at the work of my own hands.

Thank you, Mom, for teaching me what a treat is.  Cool Whip is so much more special when you only get a dollop a year.  So is eggnog, maraschino cherries, and ice cream cones from Twistees.  Perhaps there were times when money prevented you from indulging us as much as you may have wanted to, but I suspect that most of your resistance was out of wisdom.  While I will admit that I ate Cool Whip unabashedly from a tub on a regular basis once I moved out, I really value that you taught me how to cherish the good things in life.  Special memories of childhood were going to the Berrien County Youth Fair, picnicking at the beach, going to visit grandparents, and those rare occasions when we would get subs from the Kmart deli when we had been out shopping too long.  They didn't happen everyday, so I was grateful for them.  I rarely got everything I wanted.  Thank you for that.  Because parenting isn't good if you give your kids everything they want; parenting is good when your kids appreciate the occasion when they got something they really wanted.  We didn't have a lot of toys in comparison to kids today, but we sure loved the toys we had.  More than that, we loved the company we had in a playmate.  If we had our say as kids, we probably would have eaten at McDonald's more than the one time a year when we were traveling to Grandma and Grandpa's, but then that burger would not have tasted so good.

Thank you, Mom, for family traditions.  Homemade burgers and fries, followed by popcorn and pop every Friday night never got old.  Thank you for knowing it is still an expectation when we visit.  Thank you for putting my hair in curlers for Easter Sunday and insisting that we all looked our very best for that day.  Thank you for not putting the presents under the Christmas tree until the late hours of Christmas Eve night, even when Santa Claus was long a thing of our past.  There is nothing quite as exciting as a Christmas tree packed with presents for seven children (and stockings falling from the mantel).  Thank you for always making a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, for lighting the candles and blowing them out right before dinner started, for always making big breakfasts on Saturday mornings, for always cooking huge meals for Sunday dinner, and for doing so many things the same exact way for years.  Sometimes the greatest security you can give a kid is in the routine that says, "things will always be this way," even when it won't. 

She's not perfect, but I am really thankful she is my mom.  

  

Lord of the Day

I have been leading a Bible Study on the Book of Acts at Heart of the Shepherd every Sunday morning for several weeks now.  It has been about 4 weeks since we read Chapter 12.  Today I read it with my daughter and suddenly I discovered something I had not noticed only a few weeks ago.  This is what I love about the Bible!  When God calls it the Living Word, it is because it takes form in our lives regularly if we allow it, bringing life with that understanding.

In Acts Chapter 12 it is recapping the story of Peter being imprisoned for spreading the Gospel.  So threatening was the message, that his captors saw fit to have him guarded by four squads of soldiers containing four soldiers each.  That's 16 men to 1 man in chains.  And as overly cautious as this may sound, it wasn't enough.  Peter's friends were back home praying for him earnestly.  The night before he was to go to trial, an angel awakens him and leads him out of the prison.  He goes to the home of Mary, the mother of John Mark, where everyone has been praying for him.  A servant girl, named Rhoda goes to the door and she is so excited to see him that she forgets to let him in and runs to tell everyone.  Verse 15 was the moment of revelation for me.  "'You're out of your mind,' they told her.  When she kept insisting that it was so, they said, 'It must be his angel.'"

Originally, I found the interaction with Rhoda humorous.  The girl forgets Peter at the door, she's so excited!  And I suppose because I was amused by that, I missed what the comments by the rest of the party really implies.  You see, these people had been praying for Peter.  It is reasonable to guess that they were praying for his protection, for his release, for his faith, and for his comfort.  And these same praying people cannot believe it when he actually shows up at the door.  In fact, they explain away the girl's persistence by saying it must be Peter's angel.  In other words, they think it is more reasonable that Peter is dead and his angel is paying them a visit, than to believe that Peter was actually released from prison.

It occurred to me that we Christians suffer from this same disconnect in our daily walk of faith.  It is as though we trust God in heavenly matters, but often don't expect Him to intervene with our earthly ones.  And when He does answer those prayers with the friend we have needed, or the money to cover unexpected costs, or a sudden sense of peace, we often give ourselves the credit as being resourceful enough to make it through the hard times.

Suddenly, this story became so very powerful to me, because it wasn't just about Peter escaping from prison, but it was an intimate look at how I actually view my relationship with God.  It revealed to me how very likely I would be the one saying, "Rhoda, you're crazy!  It must be an angel, because there's no way it's Peter!"  I so often struggle with the thought that God regularly accomplishes the impossible or even the unlikely.  I can trust in Him for my eternal salvation, but I am hesitant to believe He has a grasp on this day.

I have a great God.  He has conquered my sins, covered them with His righteousness, and longs for my entrance into His Eternal Home.  But He wasn't done with me when He secured my eternity.  How easily I forget that.  He has a daily plan for me.  One that involves regular interference.  Most of which I probably do not ever acknowledge or recognize.

Jesus isn't just a God of the eternal, but He is Lord over this day!  His power is accessible today, but we so often act like we won't see it until eternity.  If we welcome Him as the God who cares about today, we will see the power of the God that was able to conquer not only death, but the life we face today.

    

The Messy Mommy Ministry- A Call to Action (Or Inaction?)

The plan was to have a good friend come over for dinner on Easter Sunday.  I told her 5 o'clock because we would be getting home from church at around noon and I wanted plenty of time to get my house clean before she arrived.  I think I've let on a few times that I am not the tidiest housekeeper.  This is in no part due to laziness, but more so due to an inherited inability to throw out anything or organize that which I am unwilling to throw out.  (Not to mention the triple combo efforts of three professional mess-makers).

Thus began a distracted effort to prepare sweet potatoes, fold laundry, whip up a pie, vacuum, and de-clutter as soon as I got children down for a nap.  In the flurry of activity my spirit was high as I sang some of the songs from service that morning.  Before it was even halfway over, I had decided that this was the best Easter ever.  Good Friday service was very effective and it was the first time since having children that I was able to give my undivided attention to the service (Special thanks to well-behaved Colette and Mary, and Daddy, who took out not-so-well-behaved Julia).  Then on Saturday the kids made a Resurrection Garden, dyed Easter eggs, and Colette and I made cookies together that had scriptural references for each ingredient.  With all of the additional blogging, I was feeling very connected with God and felt that I had been successful in sharing the Message with my children.

And yet, something started nagging at me while I cleaned.  All of this preparation was in honor of my friend- a friend who knows me well; a friend who knows the messiness of being a mother; a friend who I invited to dine with us because her own children would be spending Easter with their father and she would be alone.  And suddenly what I was doing did not seem so honorable, because I realized that my scheduling design was to avoid her seeing the reality of my everyday living.  We moms do this a lot.  Too much.  Don't we?  We scramble to tidy up our lives and homes so we can accept compliments on how "put-together" we are with these broad grins and a wave of our hands as we say, "Oh, it doesn't always look like this," but we want you to think that we're just being modest.  And meanwhile, we perpetuate this falsehood among us that you can have the perfect house, perfect husband, perfect kids and perfect life while causing others to feel inadequate.  So we all keep running this rat race that keeps us distracted from serving each other in very deep and real ways that begins with us being REAL with each other.

It suddenly became very detestable to me.  This is not to advocate letting your housework go to the dogs or not having the decency to wipe down the toilet seat for your guests.  But, my desire to put on a false ambience of order at the expense of my friend's loneliness on the very holiday that expresses God's great love and humility, gripped me with irony.  So I tossed in the towel, let her know she could come over whenever she was ready, and made no last minute pleadings with my husband and children to run like mad shoving piles out of sight.

She told me she had crawled into bed that afternoon and cried because she was missing her kids so much.  And frankly, it made me want to crawl into a hole.  When I could have been a friend, I had chosen to perpetuate an image instead.  It didn't honor my friend.  It honored me and my image.  And not only that, but I really think behavior like this is harmful to my ministry as a Christian.  Too often I am running around saving face, missing what is really important.  Yes, I have missed opportunities to be the hands and feet of Christ because I didn't want someone to see my messy house.

Colette and I had been talking about what we do if Jesus came back to Earth and He was coming to our house today.  Colette just stared in wide-eyed wonder and said (what I have determined to be very wise), "I don't think I would say anything!"

And I said, "I would start running around cleaning like crazy."  Because I would.  Even for Jesus who has a daily, omnipotent view of my home.

Colette gave me one of those knowing looks that she makes right before she says something brilliant and began, "There's this story in the Bible about Martha and Mary..."  She actually trailed off as if to communicate that her point was so obvious there was no need to go further.  I got it.  Jesus came to Martha and Mary's house, and Martha scurried about cleaning while Mary sat at the feet of Jesus, listening.  Martha pleads with Jesus to get her sister to be of some assistance.  Jesus replies, "You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:41-42)

Jesus did not tell Martha that cleaning was not virtuous.  He did say that what Mary had chosen was better.  How many times do we burden ourselves with activities that are good, but God is offering us something better?

Clean houses are great.  Being of service to others is better.

What I am proposing is a pledge of transparency and a move towards putting a hold on wiping down the kitchen so we can pick up a tissue and wipe at the tears of someone in need.  I am calling it My Messy Mommy Ministry, because I'm not willing to let distractions keep me from hearing God's call to action.

 



      

 

Feeling Phony

I think about Peter a lot.  I would like to say we are a lot alike- in his pre-rock-of-the-church stage- but even then I feel like I am handing myself too nice a compliment.  Peter had a courageous mouth.  Or maybe Peter suffered with Chronic Foot-In-Mouth Syndrome.  I can relate to that.  It's why I prefer writing.  There is a lot of deleting, pausing, cutting, pasting, even researching proper word usage to make sure I mean what I say.  But outside of the safety of my computer, my brain and tongue do not always seem properly connected.   Likewise Peter had this habit of blurting out awe-inspiring confessions of faith, only to find himself doing something quite the opposite moments later.

Hypocrite.  Phony.  Fake.  Lukewarm.

How many times did Peter internally struggle with these words- fearing that they actually defined him?  Peter- who walked on water, only to sink when his focus became the waves.  Peter- who proclaimed Jesus was the Savior, only to misunderstand what that meant.  Peter- who slept in the Garden of Gethsemane though Jesus had asked him to pray.  Peter- who said he would lay down his life for Jesus, and then fled to save his own life when Jesus was betrayed and then he denied ever knowing Him.

If the shoe fits, wear it.  Probably was not yet a coined phrase in those days, but it was likely Peter was thinking something of the sort.  Who was he to deny the role he kept playing?  It seemed to be in his character; something he could not escape.  And maybe that Saturday he was starting to accept it, own it, believe it.  Maybe he was thinking his last couple of years had been built on false pretenses.  Jesus was dead.  He had deserted him.

Perhaps he remembered Jesus telling him that He had prayed for him, encouraging him, "And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."  Who was Peter to be the one to strengthen, when his weaknesses were so often publicized?

Who am I to encourage you, when so often my own actions conflict with my heart?

2 Corinthians 12:9 "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'"  Who better than Peter to display the transforming power in our lives by the very grace of God?  Who better than you?  Who better than me?  Because when I am finally able to produce a good work in Christ, it is evident that it wasn't my doing.

I think about Peter a lot and how Jesus reassured him.  Jesus knew something about Peter that Peter didn't even know.  Jesus knew what Peter would become.  Jesus knew the plans He had for him.  Truth be told, Jesus had more faith in Peter than Peter had in himself.  And He has a lot more faith in what you can accomplish than you probably have in yourself.  It's a funny thing to consider God having faith in you.  We talk so much about having faith in Him, but sometimes I don't find that so encouraging when my faith wavers more than Peter's.  But then I think of God watching over me with the love and faithfulness of the perfect parent, quietly reassuring me, "You can do this!"  And I can't argue with that.  My confidence is in my faithful God, not in my own ability to believe, because like Peter, I fail in even doing that moments after I proclaim it with all my heart.  Psalm 117:2, "For great is His love toward us, and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever.  Praise the Lord!"

Getting Re-Sensitized

We live in a graphic society.  Our movies have become more gory, more horrifying, and more disturbing.  Hollywood doesn't hold much back.  We are drawn to the detail and the emotion that it evokes.  If a wound would draw blood, we do not want it to be left to the imagination; we want to see it.  Or at least it would appear the general public does.

When I was in 9th grade my older brother went to see Jurassic Park in the theater and he protectively informed me that I may not be able to handle it.  I will admit when I finally saw it on video I spent most of my time leaping off the couch, but I proudly handled the gore which had been unseen in my world thus far.       It was the first of many movies I would subject myself to that continued to push the envelope of graphic images and disturbing material.  I have since learned that it is best for my mental and spiritual well-being to avoid these types of movies or television shows, but there is one graphic movie that I will continue to watch because the imagery actually brings a lot of benefit.

As many did, I went to the theater in 2004 to see The Passion of the Christ and left drained of tears and emotionally raw.  While many shied away from the violence, I appreciated it.  Having grown up in the church, I was accustomed at a very young age to the idea of Jesus dying on the cross.  I suppose it was oversimplified when I was a child in order to protect my sensitivities and then as I grew older my own spiritual lethargy lead me to never contemplate the graphic nature of the event.  And on another hand, in my spiritual immaturity, I had always minimized what took place by considering that dying must be as simple for God as any of His other feats.

It is easy to become desensitized.  In a world where pain and suffering is a common companion to our friends and families in the form of illness, addiction, emotional trauma, tragedy, and the like; we find ourselves drawing the line of how far we can even allow ourselves to care about our neighbor... or that homeless guy in Detroit... or that hungry kid in Africa.  Sometimes it is just too much to even consider our own sorrows to allow sorrow to creep in for mankind.  And maybe that's why the box office blows up with movies that lead us to become desensitized to some of the pain and suffering that exists in our own small world.

Or maybe, for some of us, it reminds us that we do care, when we have tried so hard to not care just so we can function.

It is why I welcome Good Friday with a somber heart, because it is necessary to cause ourselves to care.  Sometimes we need that reminder.  And especially as a Christian who loves to delight in the gifts of my Savior, I need to remember that it came at great expense.

He suffered.  Contemplate it.  Cry about it.  Experience it.  Remember it.  Because the joy that comes after realizing why He did it, will restore you enough to care about who He did it for...    



 

Stinky Feet

After bearing the weight of seven children, my mother's legs and feet were laced with purple varicose veins.  I remember as a child admiring my mom's legs and thinking they were pretty and this was not by recognizing the symbolism in those veins that bore the sacrifice of my life.  They were the legs of my mother and as many young girls do, we look to our mothers to understand beauty, and to me, her legs were beautiful simply because they were mom's.  I'm not sure when this world's influence swayed me to the side of admiring smooth and tan legs, despite what I knew in my heart as a little girl.  Sadly it happened.

Like most girls struggling with self-image at the age of 13, I was mortified when one of my best friends exclaimed on a bright and sunny morning that I had ugly feet.  I had never considered that one might have ugly feet.  Feet were feet... until I looked at her small, smooth skinned feet and her darling painted toes next to my wide and veined, un-manicured clods.  Suddenly I became very aware of feet; my own with shame, others with disgust or envy.

Perhaps it was this heightened awareness that led to a general aversion to feet- unless they are the piggies of one of my precious little pumpkins- otherwise, keep your dirty, smelly, scaly, sweaty hooves away from me.

Can you imagine why I get a little squeamish when considering what Jesus did at the Last Supper?  He and the disciples are dining together and Jesus starts washing their feet with a basin of water and a towel tied at his waist.  To put this in perspective, He wasn't removing a pair of Nikes and cushiony socks before starting in on the job.  He was most likely faced with a layer of grime that would turn your stomach, mingled with blisters and callouses and cracks.  Those feet had done some serious walking.  This is why there was often a servant in the household who would wash the feet of those that entered.  So when Jesus took it on Himself to fill this humble position, Peter was aghast.

Quite frankly, it catches me by surprise every time, too.  I have to resist the urge to exclaim, "Yuck!"  We're talking about Jesus who touched Lepers, but I'm turned off by a little foot-washing.  And maybe that's the point.  Because every time I hear the story, I am humbled by my vanity.  (Does that sound like an oxy-moron to anybody else?)

Jesus wasn't just washing those feet.  He was loving those feet.  They were feet that had been following Him around for three years, and were ripe with the sacrifice of it.  And He knew where those feet would be going when He left this earth.  They would be the feet that would carry the Gospel to many nations.  Those feet had a story.  They belonged to someone.  He humanized those feet and that's why He could lovingly wash them.  It's why my mother's legs were beautiful to me, because my mother was beautiful to me regardless of how the world would define her.

Despite the grime of our life, Jesus loves us.  He looks beyond what disgusts others- the callouses of  greed, hate, envy, pride and anger; the painful blistering of alcoholism, addiction, prostitution, and murder- and sees what He created to be beautiful.  And when He's done washing away the ugliness, He reveals the new life hiding underneath all of those layers of dead skin.  

Isaiah 52:7 proclaims, "How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, 'Your God reigns!'"  Those feet that had travelled mountain terrain would be anything but beautiful to the average eye, but to the one who sought the message, one might even kiss those feet.  I suppose it could be said that each of our feet has a story to tell, not so much where we have been, but what message we bring.

I've never had a pedicure- as much as I don't like other people's feet, I'm certainly not going to subject someone to mine.  But I think it's time for a weekly, Godly pedicure, because I'm pretty sure there's some work that needs to be done to these toes.  The message they bring is too often not one that brings a smile to the beholder.  And while I'm at it, I'm going to stop judging a foot by its callouses, and consider instead its Maker.  No panicking if tonight's Maundy Thursday service requires a little dirty work ;).  

 

            

Gone Fishing

It's amazing how a story I have read straight from the Bible a good 50 times all of a sudden generates a new perspective.  What other book can do that?!  Though I have this happen frequently, the story of most recent inspiration is from Luke 5:1-11.  I bet as I start sharing the story, many of you will go, "Oh yeah, I know that one.  Fishing all night.  No fish.  Then lots of 'em.  Fishers of men. Yep.  Got it."  I'm not criticizing, because I have a tendency to do this often when re-reading anything.  It is in part because I have a pesky Know-It-All complex, so I like to convince myself that I have nothing new to learn.  And this conceit is probably why it took me 50 readings to get such a basic and amazing concept from the well-known, yet well-overlooked, story.

The account takes place at the beginning of Jesus's ministry when He is in the process of gathering disciples.  A crowd had gathered to hear him speak just as some unsuccessful fishermen have come in from a night of fishing.  Jesus steps into a boat belonging to Simon so that He can be visible to the crowd.  After teaching the people, He asks Simon to push out to deep water and let down his nets.  Simon answers, "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything.  But because you say so, I will let down the nets."

Now, I have heard sermons prepared on the miraculous event that takes place- so many fish are caught they need extra boats.  And I have heard sermons on Simon's response- he falls to his knees, recognizing that this is God who stands before him, and he is "a sinful man."  I can even remember as early as my first Sunday School class teaching us to be "fisher's of men," as Jesus calls those men to be.  What struck me as "new" in the story, was how fishing all night with no results is much like ministry.

Sometimes there are no catches and we have given up hope and pulled our boats ashore.  Sometimes we can lift our spirits by considering tomorrow is a new day and a change is in the winds.  Sometimes we feel so discouraged, we wonder if God has use for us at all.  And it is often on those days that God tells us to get right back in the boat and try again.  We might be tempted to point out to God what He already knows.  We have been trying!  All night, all day, our whole life and nobody (or maybe it's just that one somebody) is taking the bait.

But because You say so, Lord, I will go.

I have a friend whose father is facing death; a father who in all appearances had strayed from the faith, though he once had served in the church.  On Monday, this friend had shared with me the pain she felt of knowing what her father faced in death and not having the comfort of his salvation.  And just when it might seem time to row the boat ashore and consider it too late to hope that he might make peace with God, she and others continued to share the Gospel message with him.

It is Thursday.  What a difference God can make in three days... or 3 hours... or 3 minutes.  I received an email that this friend's father has asked for forgiveness and is in the process of finding peace in Christ, even in death.  What an amazing blessing to see this prayer answered!  

Luke 5 is a story of hope- one that says even when it defies the odds and your own sensibilities, God is at work preparing a catch that will make our hearts burst with joy, unable to contain the bounty.  As I read it, it brought to mind many whom I have witnessed to with no result and I rowed away, feeling defeated and leaving them in the seas of doubt.  But God calls us to go back out and let down the net again.

When we are feeling discouraged, especially when the salvation of a loved one is on our mind, we are reminded that sometimes it only requires pushing out to sea one more time.  It might seem tiring, it might seem hopeless, it might even be frightening, but if God has called us to do it, He will be faithful to see us through it.