Today is a Great Day!

Today has been a great day!  And it may seem hasty on my part to deem today a great day when it is only 1 o'clock in the afternoon and there are still a host of events that could take place that could turn it sour, but I am telling you it is a great day.  Let me tell you what happened today...

The day started out normal enough.  Julia was up several times last night as she is battling a cold.  My throat was sore and I was still rubbing sleep from my eyes when I faced with the first discipline issue of the day.  I instructed Colette that she would be serving a time-out for her infraction and lead her to the wall, reminding her that the timer would only begin once she was quiet and in the proper time-out stance of facing the wall with her hands at her side.  I have to be very strict about composure because if I leave it up to a simple instruction of staring at the wall, suddenly I have children: licking the wall, pushing the wall in an effort to actually knock it down, scratching the wall, wiping their nose on the wall, climbing the wall, laying down and staring at the wall, etc., etc., etc... My children beg for very clear boundary lines.  I don't know where they get it from...*ahem*

Colette faced outward.  Defiantly.  She was very calm and collected.  The look of determination on her face was very clear.  She was going to attempt to win me over with partial obedience and I must tell you, it was very tempting.  She was not loudly protesting her time-out.  She was standing quietly, but she was not facing the wall.  And maybe some of you will groan, but the rule is that you must face the wall.  Part of the intent of the time-out is for reflection on one's actions caused by the inability to be entertained by anything else but a blank wall.  I informed her that she would have to complete time-out facing the wall and as soon as she was ready, I would start the timer.  She didn't say a word.  She set her jaw and crossed her arms in quiet protest.  So I cheerily turned away and began serving breakfast to the other children.

Twenty minutes passed and she didn't budge or make a peep.  She's not even five yet!  At this point I informed her that the kitchen would be closed in 20 minutes and if she had not served her time-out by then, she would not be getting breakfast.  I reminded her that all she need do was face the wall.  She said in a very steady tone, "If you make me face the wall, I will have to cry."  I informed her that proper time-out procedure requires all elements to be fulfilled: wall-facing, hands at sides, no body parts touching the wall, quiet.  The stand-off continued.

I started dreading the imminent threat of continuing the time-out boycott long after breakfast dishes were cleared and her little tummy was rumbling.  It pains me to watch my children make such silly decisions.  Pains me to the usual point of anger, but we'll get to that in a moment.

Suddenly, a little whimper escaped.  Her shoulders slumped in defeat and she angled her body toward the wall.  Don't cheer yet.  She was only half-facing.  Sigh.  I told her that once she was fully facing, I would start the timer.  She successfully completed her sentence, we had a pleasant discussion about her choices, and all in time for her to eat breakfast.

I resisted the urge to dance and shout in victory.  Which was good, because Mary pushed Julia just as I was considering it.  Sigh.  Off to the wall.  Mary wailed.  Mary sat.  Mary wiped her nose on the wall.  Mary ran away.  Mary wailed.  Mary rolled on the floor, kicking and screaming.  Mary continued for twenty whole minutes, while I gave her gentle reminders of what I expected her to do.  Then Mary took her pants off and stood in her underwear and cried and screamed some more as she informed me in a threatening tone, "I TOOK MY PANTS OFF, MOMMY!"  Take that, Mommy!  But I held out and pretended to ignore Mary's ridiculous antics when all along I was really just hiding the giggles.

And then, after twenty minutes of standing in the same spot crying with her pants off, Mary put her pants back on and said very softly, "I am ready for you to start the timer, Mommy."  And I did.

Now, here is the reason why this is a great day-  I didn't get angry!!  Not once.  This is the kind of behavior that baffles me to the point of yelling, "For crying out loud, just face the wall!  This is ridiculous!"

But the Lord has been dealing with me about my anger.  I have stumbled upon articles and books and Bible verses so consistently dealing with this topic, that I am well aware God is bringing about a great work in me regarding my anger.  So on Sunday when Pastor John gave a message about peace and shared Ephesians 4:26, my heart opened like a vessel just waiting to be filled with God's message to me. "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry."  Initially I thought this was such an odd way to phrase this.  By beginning the sentence with the focus on the sun, it would appear that our instruction is to exert some form of control over the sun.  Of course, we know all efforts directed in this way would be fruitless, so our focus shifts to the second subject, "while you are still angry."  Suddenly, I was very aware of what God was saying.  We do not have control over the sun, but we have control over our anger (or any of our emotions for that matter).

Now, I will be the first to tell you that I actually contemplated if in fact it might be easier to gain control over the sun rather than even consider managing my temper.  I have red hair, okay?  Yet, all joking aside, I realized that God was telling me that this is the one thing I have control over.  I cannot even control my own children's actions.  I would love to make my children stand in a time-out quiet and composed, but they are far more likely to put up a big fuss and roll around on the floor.  And at the same time that I stood baffled by their inability to pull it together and do what was being asked of them, I would have told you that I could not help but be angered by their actions.

Part of my problem with anger is that I have a sense of entitlement to it.  You hurt my feelings?  You didn't listen?  You disobeyed?  You betrayed?  Well then, you better believe I'm gonna be angry!  I have a right to it!

I have come to discover that anger is a perpetual motion that becomes a massive snowball of angry and unfortunate events.  And I'm over it.  I don't want to justify my actions anymore because YOU made me angry.  I can't control what anyone else does, but I can control my decisions to model peace, patience, and love.  I am done with allowing anger to appear like some evil force that takes ahold of my body and causes me to do things that leave me with remorse.  I made a decision last night that I was not going to allow anger to be a part of my day and I wrote the following prayer to guide me each morning in welcoming a new spirit to rule my household.  Gone is the spirit of anger.  Welcome the spirit of love!

This is my answered prayer.  This is why today is and will continue to be a great day!

Dear God,
You know the desires of my heart to raise children up in obedience and love, and most importantly with a heart for You.  Yet, I fail consistently in acting upon these desires and instead let anger, guilt, and my own selfish desires play out in my children's lives.  I commit myself to you, God, and ask that you would mold me as your child with your characteristics.  I pray that you would fill as a vessel in thirsty desperation for patience, kindness, gentleness, and meekness.  You alone can provide me with what I need and how I might achieve all that you have called me to do.
Lord, give me a dedicated heart.  Lord, remove that spirit of anger that creeps up on me so regularly and replace it with eyes to see my children as you see me- a child of God who is at the beginning of learning to obey Your Will.  I ask that you would call to mind for me a special scripture that will serve as daily encouragement and that it would come boldly to mind in the face of temptation, so that I will remember the spirit you desire me to have- not one of anger.
Lord, I also pray that you would help me to serve my children and husband with a joyful heart.  Remove from me the desire to grumble about the interruptions of life as I would have it be, and instead, welcome them as opportunity to learn from You your gifts of patience, kindness, and long-suffering.
Giver of all that is good, I ask only to please You in requesting that you would bring order to my life, for you are not the God of chaos, but of peace.  Help me to overcome my sinful inclination for laziness and replace it with an ever increasing desire to serve you with the work you put before me.
Gracious God, I thank you for the peace that comes in knowing that all I have asked for, I will receive in the name of your Son, Jesus.  Amen!