Free To Love

My apologies for an extended hiatus.  Life has been very busy!  This past weekend was a combination of celebrating the blessing of freedom that we have in this country, as well as the blessing of seven years of wedded bliss for Jon and me.  Originally when we planned our wedding for July 3rd, it was a matter of convenience and availability with the added benefits of Independence Day festivities.  This year I reflected on the significance of celebrating the two together.

There is such freedom in love.  When one is pursuing love, it seems wise to be cautious of how we reveal ourself.  We are certain to look our best and act our best, laying out evidences for worthiness.  We read into the actions of our love interest to interpret their level of desire for us, and attempt to reflect the same, hiding feelings that may indicate more out of fear of scaring them off.  There are times when I get lost in years of journal entries and that angst of love not yet requited seems still so fresh.  The feeling that I remember most was being so bottled up with love for Jon while he was off in that male world of oblivion.  What I really wanted was not his love in return but just opportunity to express the immense love that was building up for him.  I longed for that freedom to tell him how I felt and to serve him in love.

But there are always those games of pursuit first, right?  Perhaps that is why, when love is in grasp, you suddenly feel so free to let go of all those appearances and dig deep into the heart of the person.  When I was finally able to show Jon the love that I had for him (and he finally realized that he felt likewise), our worlds exploded with the freedom of just being who we are.  Isn't that the best part of love- waking up with messy hair in an old t-shirt that you are only now discovering was splattered with spit-up the night before and knowing it does not affect one ounce of love the person next to you feels.  1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear..."  Those days of fearing that I would lose Jon by turning him off with one bad hair day or one ill-received gesture are gone.

Freedom in love is a wonderful thing, but there is much responsibility.  Though Jon has expressed his love for me even when I am at my worst, I have a loving desire to please him and be at my best.  Not that I feel his love for me is dependent on it, but because the freedom to love him is so enjoyable.  I love to make him smile, to be a part of his happiness.  So it is in the freedom of love that I serve him.  It is opportunity, not obligation, that rolls me out of bed in the morning to make him breakfast and pack his lunch and send him off with a kiss.  It is opportunity that drives me to spend his hard-earned money wisely and keep our home as orderly as possible.  And he is quick to find opportunity to remind me of the love he serves as well.

Psalm 119:32 says, "I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free."  At first glance the language seems almost contradictory.  If one is under the command of another, we rarely consider them free by today's interpretation of the word.  The verse makes me visualize someone running through a wooded path with the freedom to steer off the course, but a desire to stay on the path someone laid out before them.  It is clear to the runner that the path was laid out in love, a means of safe travels through an otherwise treacherous terrain.  Perhaps the runner could explore other options, but in following the path there is freedom in every step for the path has already been laid and he has no worries of hurdling fallen trees and tangled vines.  His feet are light down the path that has already been laid.  The designer has promised a safe arrival and the runner is free to follow.

What freedom we have in Christ to follow the path He has laid out for us!  It is love that drives us down that path of service in His name.  And we are free to love because He first loved us.  He drove out those fears of unworthiness by making our worthiness known to us when He died on the cross for us.  God made the first move in declaring His love for us so that we could have the freedom to love Him in return.  Let that love drive you down the path He has forged for you; one that promises success and arrival at your Heavenly home.  It is your choice to serve Christ in love, but your heart will be set free from the burdens of this world if you anchor it to Christ.