Who Am I? Part 2 Jonathan

As a teenager and young adult, I found most of my emotions, actions, and thoughts wrapped around the topic of finding true love.  Like so many girls, I sacrificed standards and morals to find "the one."  I remember feeling like searching for a good, Christian man was setting the bar too high and would only lead to disappointment.  (I am sure a lot of my reservations in this area was an unwillingness to expose my lack of understanding of my own faith.)  So often I dated troubled men thinking that if I could offer them a life of change they would be forever indebted to me with their love.  And yet my relationships were always missing that growth that only a Christian relationship can experience- the bonding of your love for  Jesus and His work in you as an individual and as a couple.  

As I went through these relationships, my Christian walk suffered.  There were many attempts to witness, but they were rejected.  The feelings of love that I had allowed myself to feel for these men left me feeling empty.  I knew that there was something greater I was longing for, that God was calling me to.  

Jonathan was a not a Christian when we met.  We were both heading into our senior year of high school and we were instantly connected and attracted to each other.  We dated long-distance for four months.  When the relationship ended as quickly as it began, I was heartbroken and confused as I had been so many times before.

After some time passed, Jonathan and I came back into contact with each other.  The whole time we were platonic friends for four years, I was secretly in love with him.  Meanwhile I remained single for that length of time and I found my Christian faith to be growing through Bible study attendance and church.  When I finally confessed my feelings to Jon, we started dating again and although I was finally with the person I had been loving for four years, I knew God was calling me to something far greater.  

One night Jonathan came to a Bible study with me.  Throughout the whole study I was feeling compelled to end my relationship with him.  It was heartbreaking because I knew that Jonathan was in love with me and I felt like I had been unfair to him by enticing him into a relationship with me, all the while knowing that God wanted me to be with a Christian.  After the study, Jonathan and I took a long drive and we started to talk about God.  Jonathan stated that he was a Christian, after I had told him he was not.  He said, "I believe in God!"  I responded, "Yes, but do you believe in Jesus?"  He said, "I can't believe in someone I don't know."  That night I shared with Jonathan who Christ was and what He intends for us and that night- the night I thought I would be breaking up with Jonathan to find the Christian man God intended for me- Jonathan became a Christian.  

I realized that God was asking me to give up what I loved (and had been loving more than Him) so that he could give me something even better.  I never once thought that God could make Jonathan a Christian.  I didn't believe Him capable of doing that!  Now when I look at Jonathan- my husband, best friend, father of my two children (soon to be 3!), I see a beautiful work in Christ.  I have a beautiful testimony of what walking by faith can lead to.