Buried Talents

Colette has been walking since she was eight months old.  She has always had great comprehension and fine motor skills.  When she puts her mind to it, she can follow direction to minute details.  However, when asked to return a toy to her bedroom, she has this mysterious affliction that suddenly turns her legs to rubber.  And then her arms become affected too and they flop around as if her nerves are spasming and she has no control over her body.  The wailing is even more convincing.  "I can't do it!" she cries, defeat and disappointment displayed on her face.  My heart aches as only a concerned parent's would.

Oh wait... she's faking.  She doesn't want the responsibility of cleaning up her toys so she pretends to lack the abilities required to carry out the task.  I am certain most parents can relate.  This seems to be a handy little form of trickery every child is taught in that secret class they all take- "Toddler 101- How to Terrorize your Parents."  I am beginning to be convinced we do not grow out of the habit either.

Though I have received compliments on my writing, I have always graciously declined any reference to it being a gift from God.  It seemed shameful and conceited that I would claim my writing was good, much less call it worthy of God.  Recently my views have changed.  This is not opportunity to boast, as I still find much of what I write undeveloped, trite, and contrived, but I have suddenly viewed myself as a child floundering on the floor claiming lack of ability to shirk spiritual responsibility.  My efforts to be humble were actually clothing for laziness, perhaps defiance.  

God has provided me with an ability to write because He intends me to use it for His glory.  To pretend that I do not have this gift, has caused me to squander it away for other purposes, or to not use it at all.  So I have finally committed to writing a book.  For those of you that have known me for a long time, please withhold the groans.  I have been an "aspiring" author my whole life.  Thirty years with nothing produced, outside of this blog.  My motivations were shamefully wrong, and thus failed me.  I daydreamed about my book displayed on the shelves of Barnes and Noble.  Worse, I imagined speaking at the annual Dogwood Festival of my hometown, Dowagiac, MI, which has seen literary greats such as John Updike, Alice Walker, and Tim O'Brien.  I was fame and fortune seeking.  I was also uncommitted and uninspired.

This time it is different.  It is not my desire any more.  God has placed it on my heart that I am to do this in service to Him, without regard for the results other than it is in His plan.  It may never find its way to a publisher, but I know that I am writing it for the purpose of at least one person, if not simply as an act of obedience on my part.  It is no longer my talent, my glory, my will, but His.

I am reminded of the story of the Parable of the Talents, so fittingly named.  In Matthew 25 Jesus tells a story about a rich man who leaves three of his servants in charge of a large sum of money, called a talent (equivalent to over a thousand dollars).  Two of the servants doubled the money by "putting it to work" , but the final servant dug a hole in the ground and hid it so that nothing was gained when he returned it to his master.  I have buried what God has called me to multiply.

I ask that you keep my act of service in your prayers, as I often feel discouraged and am easily distracted with my day to day responsibilities, but I feel very certain that God would not require of me something He has not equipped me to do.  Time I dug up my talent and put it to work for the glory of His Name!