Walk This Way

I had no idea the effect parenting would have on my spirituality.  Though I never intended this blog to be a regular comparison and confession of my day to day interactions with my children, it seems that is what God's intentions are for it.  I look at my children and feel inspired.  I know what I, a sinful being, desire for them and through that I can see what God in His perfect love longs for us, His children.

Colette is a child with a strong will and an intelligence that leaves me dumbfounded.  There are times where I feel so unprepared to raise someone of her nature and capabilities.  I daydream about her future; her potential to turn this world on its axis.  If I see this in my own child, what must God see in each of us- He who designed us with a specific purpose?  I can only imagine what Colette will become, but God knows what He has in store for her.

As parents, Jon and I will play a huge role in our children's outcome.  To understand my influence in the molding of their character- how I encourage them, how I coddle them, how I teach them and what I model for them- often leaves me overwhelmed.  What I desire for Colette, Mary, and Julia is love, security, a clear sense of right and wrong, and most importantly, a solid faith in Christ.  What pains me is knowing they will likely go through trials to achieve these things, just as I did.  And what worries me even more is that they will not always make the right decision.  I will not be able to protect them from every decision that they make.  Were I to shelter them from these fears, they would likely never end up with the qualities I so desire for them.  The responsibility of guiding them with enough influence, yet allowing enough freedom for development, is a balancing act I have not mastered.  Has any parent?

Even now as I watch Colette and Mary make little kid decisions with small impacts, I hurt for them when they are unhappy with the results.  Yes, Mary decided in the moment that refusing to eat green beans was a good idea, but when everyone else is eating ice cream, those big tears make a mother's heart ache. The truth is I want her to have the ice cream.  I love blessing my children, watching them delight in an act of kindness and love.  But, as a mother who is deeply concerned about raising her children to understand responsibility for their actions, I know that withholding the ice cream is the most loving thing I can do.  I am always going to love my children and I will always desire to be a blessing to them and to shower them with blessings, but there is a time for everything.  Sometimes, there is a time for withholding blessings.

Our loving Father in Heaven has a storehouse of blessings waiting to rain down on us.  But as a good and just Father, He also will wisely choose when to shower those blessings.  He will always love us, but He cannot bless us when we walk outside of His Will.  It is the basic concept of parenting.  We use reward charts to communicate the concept to our children.  Is it any surprise that our Father in Heaven looks forward to rewarding us when we walk in His ways?

Psalm 37:4-5 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this..."  That's quite the promise for those who choose to walk this way, the path that He has carved for you.