Today is a Great Day!

Today has been a great day!  And it may seem hasty on my part to deem today a great day when it is only 1 o'clock in the afternoon and there are still a host of events that could take place that could turn it sour, but I am telling you it is a great day.  Let me tell you what happened today...

The day started out normal enough.  Julia was up several times last night as she is battling a cold.  My throat was sore and I was still rubbing sleep from my eyes when I faced with the first discipline issue of the day.  I instructed Colette that she would be serving a time-out for her infraction and lead her to the wall, reminding her that the timer would only begin once she was quiet and in the proper time-out stance of facing the wall with her hands at her side.  I have to be very strict about composure because if I leave it up to a simple instruction of staring at the wall, suddenly I have children: licking the wall, pushing the wall in an effort to actually knock it down, scratching the wall, wiping their nose on the wall, climbing the wall, laying down and staring at the wall, etc., etc., etc... My children beg for very clear boundary lines.  I don't know where they get it from...*ahem*

Colette faced outward.  Defiantly.  She was very calm and collected.  The look of determination on her face was very clear.  She was going to attempt to win me over with partial obedience and I must tell you, it was very tempting.  She was not loudly protesting her time-out.  She was standing quietly, but she was not facing the wall.  And maybe some of you will groan, but the rule is that you must face the wall.  Part of the intent of the time-out is for reflection on one's actions caused by the inability to be entertained by anything else but a blank wall.  I informed her that she would have to complete time-out facing the wall and as soon as she was ready, I would start the timer.  She didn't say a word.  She set her jaw and crossed her arms in quiet protest.  So I cheerily turned away and began serving breakfast to the other children.

Twenty minutes passed and she didn't budge or make a peep.  She's not even five yet!  At this point I informed her that the kitchen would be closed in 20 minutes and if she had not served her time-out by then, she would not be getting breakfast.  I reminded her that all she need do was face the wall.  She said in a very steady tone, "If you make me face the wall, I will have to cry."  I informed her that proper time-out procedure requires all elements to be fulfilled: wall-facing, hands at sides, no body parts touching the wall, quiet.  The stand-off continued.

I started dreading the imminent threat of continuing the time-out boycott long after breakfast dishes were cleared and her little tummy was rumbling.  It pains me to watch my children make such silly decisions.  Pains me to the usual point of anger, but we'll get to that in a moment.

Suddenly, a little whimper escaped.  Her shoulders slumped in defeat and she angled her body toward the wall.  Don't cheer yet.  She was only half-facing.  Sigh.  I told her that once she was fully facing, I would start the timer.  She successfully completed her sentence, we had a pleasant discussion about her choices, and all in time for her to eat breakfast.

I resisted the urge to dance and shout in victory.  Which was good, because Mary pushed Julia just as I was considering it.  Sigh.  Off to the wall.  Mary wailed.  Mary sat.  Mary wiped her nose on the wall.  Mary ran away.  Mary wailed.  Mary rolled on the floor, kicking and screaming.  Mary continued for twenty whole minutes, while I gave her gentle reminders of what I expected her to do.  Then Mary took her pants off and stood in her underwear and cried and screamed some more as she informed me in a threatening tone, "I TOOK MY PANTS OFF, MOMMY!"  Take that, Mommy!  But I held out and pretended to ignore Mary's ridiculous antics when all along I was really just hiding the giggles.

And then, after twenty minutes of standing in the same spot crying with her pants off, Mary put her pants back on and said very softly, "I am ready for you to start the timer, Mommy."  And I did.

Now, here is the reason why this is a great day-  I didn't get angry!!  Not once.  This is the kind of behavior that baffles me to the point of yelling, "For crying out loud, just face the wall!  This is ridiculous!"

But the Lord has been dealing with me about my anger.  I have stumbled upon articles and books and Bible verses so consistently dealing with this topic, that I am well aware God is bringing about a great work in me regarding my anger.  So on Sunday when Pastor John gave a message about peace and shared Ephesians 4:26, my heart opened like a vessel just waiting to be filled with God's message to me. "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry."  Initially I thought this was such an odd way to phrase this.  By beginning the sentence with the focus on the sun, it would appear that our instruction is to exert some form of control over the sun.  Of course, we know all efforts directed in this way would be fruitless, so our focus shifts to the second subject, "while you are still angry."  Suddenly, I was very aware of what God was saying.  We do not have control over the sun, but we have control over our anger (or any of our emotions for that matter).

Now, I will be the first to tell you that I actually contemplated if in fact it might be easier to gain control over the sun rather than even consider managing my temper.  I have red hair, okay?  Yet, all joking aside, I realized that God was telling me that this is the one thing I have control over.  I cannot even control my own children's actions.  I would love to make my children stand in a time-out quiet and composed, but they are far more likely to put up a big fuss and roll around on the floor.  And at the same time that I stood baffled by their inability to pull it together and do what was being asked of them, I would have told you that I could not help but be angered by their actions.

Part of my problem with anger is that I have a sense of entitlement to it.  You hurt my feelings?  You didn't listen?  You disobeyed?  You betrayed?  Well then, you better believe I'm gonna be angry!  I have a right to it!

I have come to discover that anger is a perpetual motion that becomes a massive snowball of angry and unfortunate events.  And I'm over it.  I don't want to justify my actions anymore because YOU made me angry.  I can't control what anyone else does, but I can control my decisions to model peace, patience, and love.  I am done with allowing anger to appear like some evil force that takes ahold of my body and causes me to do things that leave me with remorse.  I made a decision last night that I was not going to allow anger to be a part of my day and I wrote the following prayer to guide me each morning in welcoming a new spirit to rule my household.  Gone is the spirit of anger.  Welcome the spirit of love!

This is my answered prayer.  This is why today is and will continue to be a great day!

Dear God,
You know the desires of my heart to raise children up in obedience and love, and most importantly with a heart for You.  Yet, I fail consistently in acting upon these desires and instead let anger, guilt, and my own selfish desires play out in my children's lives.  I commit myself to you, God, and ask that you would mold me as your child with your characteristics.  I pray that you would fill as a vessel in thirsty desperation for patience, kindness, gentleness, and meekness.  You alone can provide me with what I need and how I might achieve all that you have called me to do.
Lord, give me a dedicated heart.  Lord, remove that spirit of anger that creeps up on me so regularly and replace it with eyes to see my children as you see me- a child of God who is at the beginning of learning to obey Your Will.  I ask that you would call to mind for me a special scripture that will serve as daily encouragement and that it would come boldly to mind in the face of temptation, so that I will remember the spirit you desire me to have- not one of anger.
Lord, I also pray that you would help me to serve my children and husband with a joyful heart.  Remove from me the desire to grumble about the interruptions of life as I would have it be, and instead, welcome them as opportunity to learn from You your gifts of patience, kindness, and long-suffering.
Giver of all that is good, I ask only to please You in requesting that you would bring order to my life, for you are not the God of chaos, but of peace.  Help me to overcome my sinful inclination for laziness and replace it with an ever increasing desire to serve you with the work you put before me.
Gracious God, I thank you for the peace that comes in knowing that all I have asked for, I will receive in the name of your Son, Jesus.  Amen!

God's Go-to Girl

It's 8:30am and the only sound in the house is the clickety-clack of the keyboard and the hum of the dishwasher.  Normally my home does not achieve this level of quiet between the hours of 6:30 am to 8:30pm and even then there is an uncertainty in the air that communicates at any point some child could come rumbling from their beds with protests and complaints.  But today my house is quiet as a result of my wonderful husband taking all three of the girls out and about so I can write.  Specifically, so I could work on my book.  But instead I am here at my blog because I don't feel I can focus on my book until I spit this out...


I have been reading this book, The 10 Second Rule by Clare De Graaf, which I received as a surprise gift in the mail from the homeschool curriculum company that we use, Sonlight.  I am so excited to recommend this book to you that I am not even going to wait until I finish it to do so.  The concept of the book is to "just do the next thing you're reasonably certain Jesus wants you to do."  Essentially it is encouraging an awareness on your part of what God would have you do each moment of the day so that you are ready for the opportunities that He calls us to serve in love.  Just like what I blogged about in my last post- the nagging feeling to offer the marketer in my sub some coffee!


The book triggered a thought for me last night.  I pray regularly that God would put people in my life that I can minister to and be a beacon of light and love to.  I'm pretty sure God has done his part.  I have confessed many times on this blog, my failings in doing my part.  And this is what occurred to me last night- with me being flimsy in my service to God, how can He place in front of me important needs when I constantly reject his calling for the smaller things?  This is not to imply that God has no idea what I will do when He places a task before me (for He knows with certainty my actions before I have even laid them out), but why would God place the hearts of the spiritually dying in my hands when I have regularly turned away even in the case of my own friends in need?!  It became apparent to me that God has a list of "go-to" people when He wants a job done.  They are the people He knows are consistent in their service and are actually waiting for their assignment.


I want on that list.  I want to be God's Go-to Girl!  I want Him to say, "Today I have a widow in need of companionship and Katie will not let me down."  I want Him to say, "The seed has been planted in the heart of a struggling man and Katie will water it until it blooms."  I want Him to say, "Well done good and faithful servant!  You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.  Come and share your master's happiness!"  Matthew 25:21


Right now God is saying that the job is all mine but I have to prove I am ready for it.  I have to prepare myself by becoming more faithful in the little things; by not denying those naggings at my heart but responding to them immediately; and by standing before Him each day when I awake and asking how He would have me conduct my day, not calling Him in as a back up plan when mine fails.


I feel like I just got the call that I have been accepted for an entry level position at a dream job.  I have to prove myself here as a consistent and dedicated employee before I get the opportunity for promotion.  But when that promotion rolls around, I want to be the first name that pops into my Boss's mind.